Before I found the Son of Man (Jesus Christ), I intuitively knew my spirit longed for more, sensing the effect of the world around me on my spirit and the spiritual bondage my body, soul and spirit was under.
"When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure." Victor Frankl
The only thing that seemed to rejuvanate my being was seeing signs of something divine outside in nature, using music/games/fantasy as an idol or in occult practices (the self-help, spiritual, meditative, new-age sort) that teased my soulish-plumbing. I sought the divine in relationships too. I devoured information, learning about soft addictions and dopaminergic pathways etc. thinking perhaps it was my neurochemistry that I needed to "reset". I learned about trauma, changed my diet to appease my conscience and be more healthy -- I even studied psychology, psychotherapies and developed a new kind of creative psychotherapy. Very quickly, therapists wanted to learn these creative techniques.
All these soul 'bandages' had good effects because I got the body and soul bit right ... but it was all spiritually empty so nothing truly fulfilled me. In fact, some of it even hindered me spiritually, a fact I could only see in hindsight.
This page is a collection of art made when I was still searching. Art can reflect what's happening within us but the art I loved to see/create was the kind that appealed to or temporarily satisfied that search for that something bigger. Even art/visual beauty/nature had become an idol to me.